Tinder is a dating app that was just released in October of 2012, and yet it already makes 3.5 million matches per day! What? I am a tech-savvy, 21 year-old but I had never heard of this app until yesterday. Of course I still use a duct-taped flip phone so that might be the problem.
Actual picture of my phone (the blue part is the duct tape holding in the battery):
Make sure your kids see that picture. They need to know how hard our generation had it. No internet, no games, no group texts, no apps, and only 30 second video clips.
This past summer I “accidentally” left it in the middle of Wal-Mart for 45 minutes. When I came back for it, there it was. People all around, yet no one had bothered to steal it. I was a little offended.
So Tinder takes some basic information from Facebook – likes, interests, hometown and, most importantly, your pictures – and makes you a profile. Then other Tinder users can either “like” or “dislike” you based on your pictures (because no one actually looks at the common interests). If two people “like” each other then Tinder sets up a “chat” between them.
They say Tinder has taken off because:
1) It gets rid of ‘creepers’ because they only show you pictures of other people from within a designated geographic range, and no one can chat you unless you “like” them too.
Techcrunch.com explains this in better detail: “Tinder casts a 50 miles net around its users, taking users within that radius and giving them a rating based on their relevance to you. It displays people in order based on this score, so the person with the highest potential match is at the top. The score is based on shared friends (via Facebook), interests and networks. In turn, the more one uses Tinder, the more data it has on your tastes and preferences, tweaking its score based on those implicit signals it captures from user behavior.”
2) Because it’s easier. You don’t have to fill out countless forms or upload pictures. Tinder does it all for you when you connect to the app via Facebook.
I’ve read some very interesting articles on Tinder – which really just seems too superficial to be real – so I wanted to give you some of the better quotes. But really, you should read some of the articles for yourself too.
“. . . it’s already spawned its own malady: Tinderitis, or the sensation of having a sore thumb from swiping to approve or reject the faces of people offered up as potential date material.”
“Tinder has lured people in by unabashedly offering a place to do all the things we love doing online, but won’t admit to: act shallow, make snap-judgments based on looks, obsess over what people think of us and boost our egos. It’s turned passing judgment into a pastime, and people are thrilled to take part.”
“I think of it as a beauty contest plus messaging.” – an actual quote from a Tinder user
“The way Tinder works is the way people tell us they see the world,” says Chief Executive Officer Sean Rad. “They walk around, they see girls, and they say in their heads, ‘Yes, no, yes, no.’ ” Rad, 27, lives in Los Angeles, where the company is based. He met his girlfriend four months ago, after they both swiped right.”
“With each swipe to the left after a few seconds of picture and interest browsing I could only assume that the same was being done to me. Are we really so shallow that three pictures and a 140 character bio is all we need to know if we would be down with meeting someone in real life? I guess so.”
“I was so disgusted with myself after 48 hours of Tinder that I wouldn’t even look in the mirror for a while. How can I be so judgmental of someone I DON’T EVEN KNOW?! Of course looks are important to an extent, but why was I more concerned with the pictures than the interests? The bio?”
13 billion swipes since release in October 2012 (Sept 2013)
350 million swipes per day (Nov 2013)
an average Tinder user checks the app 11 times a day for 7 minutes = 77 minutes per day (Sept 2013)
50 marriage proposals (Sept 2013)
It’s going to take me a while to process the fact that there are real people using this app and meeting up with people based on such superficial details: looks, favorite movies, favorites bands, favorite sports, etc.
But, for right now, I really wish I had known about this when I wrote Christians & Dating & Mr. Rochester. That post contains all of my pent-up frustrations on dating and this app confirms that those frustrations are not all in my head (because I was legitimately worried about that).
Most people’s selection process for who they date starts with 1) Are they attractive or not?, and then they move into the whole is this person a criminal, is this person nice and caring, do they have a trickle of intelligence, etc.? You know the whole inside thing. That thing that lasts past age 30.
And don’t be so sure that you are not a part of this trend. It’s been going on since the beginning of time (even in Bible times). And it’s not a “bad person” trend. People – nice, caring, genuine people – do it too. They separate all of the potential dates between “good-looking” and “not so good-looking” and then they dive into the “good-looking” pool and look for someone who is nice, caring and genuine too.
This app let’s you do that without even having to waste your time on the “not so good-looking” crowd. Is that what you want? You want to skip over everyone else simply because they weren’t born with “pretty” genes? And do you really want to date someone who is as superficial as you are, considering they are on Tinder too?
No thanks. I want someone to like me for me. Beauty fades, like a lot of marriages ( map of divorce rate in the U.S.) But inner beauty brightens over time, like a lot of other marriages. Your choice.
P.S. I won’t judge you if you use Tinder. I’m actually very interested to hear if anyone has heard of or tried this. Feel free to leave a comment! Thanks!